A pressing problem that only YOU can solve…

Dear SlowPainful Reader / Supporter / Stumble-Upon-er: There is a pressing problem occurring in the world today— a problem responsible for more misery that any South Pacific tsunami / raging forest fire in the Hollywood Hills / uninvited touching by a Weinstein / homophobic African dictator / or Russian oligarch … err…. …put together. It’s a big problem, is the point, OK? Namely:- A proliferation of middle-aged, snarky,

resentful poor dudes. Listless and wan from existing on variations of Kraft Dinner for much of the year, these disgruntled wearers of grandad pants seem oblivious to the, like, total downerrrrr caused by their ADHD, complaining, and constant, excessive borrowing from family and friends. But there’s good news! The solution is in your credit-card or Paypal account-wielding hands, my friends! You see, if you can find it in your heart to
pre-purchase my forthcoming e-book for a mere $10 CAD ….. …{My e-book that’s also going to be a
wildly successful self-published trade paperback, cover pictured above, 
based on the hilarious, witty, uncalled-for, juvenile yet somehow still sophisticated blog called “A Slow, Painful Death Would Be Too Good For You (and other observations)” —that’s the site you’re on right now—by the persistently unknown yet soon to be worldwide New York Times best-selling phenomenon known as David Roddis.}… …. Then that demographic of middle-aged, snarky, resentful poor dudes will be decreasing by one member: ME! BE HONEST: DON’T you REALLY want that

MORE than two

Venti Caramel Lattes with

Lactose-Free Whipped Topping? It’s a rhetorical question. Friends, I invite you to pre-purchase* my e-book for a mere $10 CAD.
«awkward but sincere smile» Here’s what you’ll get: Right away: A 30% discount code for shop.slowpainful.com, my online store selling fun slowpainful-themed merch such as clever, quality Tees, witty cards and posters On February 1st: Digital delivery of the e-book version of my new book, and a link to the live- broadcast launch party!  PLUS Your name included in the e-book under acknowledgements, if you think you can handle the fame. In May: a personalized copy of the paperback available at a substantially reduced price. It’s like, win-win, with both wins for you! So, do the right thing, Murgatroyd McGraw.  Rescue me from the grandad pants of oblivion, and give yourself the gift of sly, quirky, thought-provoking laughter! As Dorothy Parker said to her pregnant friend: “We all knew you had it in you!” Here’s the link. >>Click here to pre-buy the e-book! Look, just do it, OK?​ Sincerely “BECAUSE THE LAST THING THE WORLD NEEDS IS ANOTHER MIDDLE-AGED, SNARKY, RESENTFUL POOR DUDE.”™ * Please note that you are pre-purchasing the e-book, i.e. paying in advance.  You will receive the e-book on February 1st.  However, as my thank-you, you will immediately on payment receive your first reward, a 30% discount code for merch on shop.slowpainful.com

A pressing problem that only YOU can solve…